Sorry, aber das Wort grownups steht ned im Wörterbuch, was bedeutet es?

harrharr ;D

There are three great miserys i a mans life:

1: a job that sucks
2: a house that sucks
3: a wife that does NOT

Quoted from "Katzenfreund@"

Sorry, aber das Wort grownups steht ned im Wörterbuch, was bedeutet es?

isch denk ma es soll grown up heißen
also aufwachsen

ädit : shit zu langsam
ädit2 : hihi phönix der is geil ;D

danke!

Muhaha.  ;D

Da hab ich auch einen:

"A Glass of Cider" -

A little girl came running into the house bawling her eyes out and cradling her hand. "Mommy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!" she wailed.

"Why do you want a glass of cider?" asked her mom.

"I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away!"

Confused, but weary of the child's whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of cider.

The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it. "Ouch! It still
hurts! This cider doesn't work!" she whined.

"What are you talking about?" asked her increasingly perplexed
parent. "What made you think that cider would ease your
pain?"

"Well, I overheard my big sister say that whenever she gets a
prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider"

;D

@Joker :

ich hoffe mal das die leute die noch net 16 sind den witz eh nich übersetzen können ;D

hihi - sachma wo haste den her ? *g*

goil ;D ;D ;D ;D

Der von Joker ist gut ;D ;D ;D

Hehe, ich hab nochn paar von solchen Jokes, habe ich mal von nem Kumpel per Mail geschickt bekommen, keine Ahnung woher die sind.

Hier noch einer (die, für die der Witz nicht geeignet ist können in hopefully auch nicht übersetzen  ;D):

"The Third Wish" -

A traveling salesman broke down on the bad side of town one
evening after a long day of door-to-door sales.  After calling AAA from a payphone, he decided to wait in for the tow truck in a nearby bar.

He sat down on a bar stool in the corner of the bar to quietly nurse his beer.  Trying to mind his own business, he was shocked to look across the bar to find a very large, muscular sailor doing shots.  
While the sailor's chest and arms were huge, the salesman was shocked to notice that his head was only about as big as a grapefruit.  Needless to say, he couldn't help but stare.

Soon the sailor stood up from his stool and swaggered over to
the salesman, who was shaking in his loafers.  When he reached him, the sailor said, "I see you staring at my head over here."

"N-no," the salesman responds, "I wasn't, really, I --"

"That's okay," the sailor said and sits down next to him.  "I
want to tell you my story. I was out at sea last year and there was a terrible storm.
My ship was sunk, and everyone drowned but me.  I struggled
to stay afloat and managed to swim to the shore of a deserted island.  I stayed there all alone for six months, eating coconuts and crabs.  One morning I was woken
up by screams coming from the lagoon.  Running down there, I
discovered a woman struggling in the thick seaweed.  I ran down to the water, ripped the seaweed from her naked body, and pulled her up to the beach.  She was a mermaid!  

I stood gawking at her for a while, and then she thanked me,
offering to grant me three wishes.  My first wish was to be
back home before the end of the day.  She said, 'Okay.'  My second wish was to have a billion dollars so I would never have to go to sea again.
She said, 'Okay.'  Then I scratched my head and tried to think of something else.  I said, 'Well, since I don't really need anything else, how about we have some sex?'  She smiled and wagged her fish tail at me.
'Silly,' she said, 'look at me.  I can't have sex with you.'  I laughed and said,
'Oh okay, then how about a little head?'"

;D ;D

Ach, nu kalauern wir also schon auf Englisch ... GUT!!! ;D

A guy drives up the M1 in his Lada when it suddenly brakes down. He pulls over on the shoulder and gets out to examine the damage, when a Porsche pulls over ahead of him, and the driver shouts "You want a tow, mate?" He agrees and they connect the cars with a rope. Before they set off, the driver of the Porsche tells the driver of the Lada: "If I go too fast, just put on your indicator and I'll slow down."

They set off and all goes well for a while, but then a Ferrari pulls up beside the Porsche, and they start to race each other, forgetting the poor Lada behind them ... after a while they leave the motorway at an exit and zoom past a little pub.

A bloke standing outside the pub looks dumbstruck, then runs inside to tell his friends: "You won't believe what I've just seen! A Porsche and a Ferrari were racing each other at 200mph, and a Lada was indicating to overtake!!!" :

There were two killer whales swimming around the Arctic Ocean.
One whale turned to the other whale and said, "Hey! Do you see that fishing boat off in the distance? What do you say we swim over there, blow some water out of our blow holes, ram the boat and eat all the fishermen?"
The second killer whale said, "Well, I am up for the blow job, but I don't eat seamen."


There were three Blondes on a tiny Island. They all wanted to get off the Island but none of them knew how. So one day a wizard came along and granted each one a wish.
The first one wished to become intelligent enough to get off the Island. So the genie turned her into a redhead and she swam off.
The next one said: "That's cool, I want to get more intelligent than her. "The genie turned her into a Brunette and she built a boat and sailed off.
The third Blonde was really impressed and wanted to become even more intelligent. So the genie turned her into a man, who used the bridge.


An atom walking down the street bumps into one of his mates and stops for a chat.
"How are you doing?" asks the first atom.
"Not so good I'm afraid, I've just lost an electron" replies the second atom.
"Are you sure" the first atom remarks.
To which the second particle replies, "I'm positive".


und noch einen kurzen zum schluss:
Why is sex like software?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it for free.

;D
render

muhahahahahahahahaha
bitte mehr.....
die, die noch unter 18 sind werden die eh kaum verstehen

muhahahahahahaha

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair,he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I‘m in hell!
Satan: Hell‘s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well you‘re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that‘s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! And we don‘t worry about getting a hangover, because you‘re dead anyway.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Satan: All right! You‘re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you‘re already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow...that‘s awesome!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack,
Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt...
you‘re dead anyhow. What about Drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don‘t mean...
Satan: That‘sThursday Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you‘re dead, who cares.
Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: No...
Satan: (grimaces). Oooooooh...You‘re gonna hate Fridays.

TOP 11 REASONS WHY HAVING E-MAIL IS LIKE HAVING A P.E.N.I.S!!!

11) Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

10) Those who have it think those who don't are somehow inferior.

9) Those who don't have it may agree that it is neat, but think it is not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.

Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call e-mail Envy.

7) It is more fun when it is up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.

6) In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.

5) Without proper precautions it can spread viruses.

4) Constant use makes it difficult to think coherently.

3) We attach an importance to it that is much greater than its actual size and influence warrants.

2) If you are not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE HAVING A P.E.N.I.S:

1) If you play with it too much, you'll go blind!!

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a president of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt.Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85 % of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up „revocation“ in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up „aluminium“. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up „vocabulary“. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as „like“ and “you know“ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up „interspersed“.
2. There is no such thing as „US English“. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, „God Save The Queen“, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American „football“. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American „football“ is not a very good game. The 2.15 % of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays „American“ football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American „football“, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85 % of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. „Merde“ is French for „shit“.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called „Indecisive Day“.
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Hehe ;D ;D

Noch einer:
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For
the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things -
chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was
obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was
running out of things to amuse him with.

Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun,
take the dogs, and go shooting?"

This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off
he went, dogs in trail.

After a few hours, the nephew returned.

"How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.

"It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs?"

Quoted from "Crimson"

muhahahahahahahahaha
bitte mehr.....
die, die noch unter 18 sind werden die eh kaum verstehen

muhahahahahahaha

muss dich enttäuschen
ich weiß ja nich wie gut du mit 16 oder 17 englisch verstanden/gesprochen hast aber ich kann einwandfrei englisch verstehen

MfG TrOuble

PS : der mit dem Teufel is böse